STUD WITH STACHE: SUISSE SCHNAUZER

Meet Sebastian.  He lives in Zurich.  

I recently got a message from Sebastian lamenting the recent loss of his schnauzer.  As a fellow dog-man I couldn't help offer my deeply-felt condolences . . . until I realized he meant mustache.  "Schnauzer" is slang for mustache in Switzerland.   Luckily, Sebastian still had a picture to share with me.  

I could lose myself in those ice blue alpen eyes and rosy alpen apple cheeks.  All Sebastian needs is an alpenhorn and some lederhosen (birfdaze gift for Colby anyone?) 

Reminds me of one of my favorite porno scenes.  Beautiful boys!  HUGE cocks!  And folk costumes!  What could possibly go wrong. . . except I can't seem to upload the clip I want to show you!

DOH!  I tried uploading this video about 10 times with no luck!!!!!  Its really hot and funny. . . all of the boys start off wearing Eastern European folk costumes. . .  I remember there being a funny/hot circle jerk/hora orgy scene in the original movie but I don't remember what its called. . . Can anyone help me out?

Here are a few screen captures from my favorite scene:

 

TOONY TUNES

On his recent trip to NYC, illustrious illustrator J.Bone had a chance to watch my good friend KOORTWAH perform live.  He's now a big fan.  As soon as J.Bone got back to Canada he drew this killer rendition of Jake performing.  If you didn't get a chance to see KOORTWAH yourself, check out some of his music below.  I guarantee you'll be a fan too.

CRUSH 'N THE HEADLINES

 

Apparently I'm not the only one with a crush on James Franco.  Who knew?  

Franco appeared recently on the droll, interminable cable-TV mainstay (think PBS on percocet) "Inside the Actor's Studio".  Selling out of tickets almost immediately, 250 people were turned away at the door. 

To make sure fans got their fill, James spent an unheard of hour-and-a-half answering questions after cameras stopped rolling.  Franco wanted to make sure every person in the audience who had a question received an adequate answer.  If only I were there to ask "boxers or jockstrap?"  Inefficiency has never been so sexy.  Swoon.  My hero! 

I SEE PENIS: ASHTRAY

Two of my absolute favorite things. . . Big dick and bookshelves! 
 
This cute little bugger belongs to British artist Rachel Whiteread.  She found him on vacation in Egypt.  Cast in cheap plastic, the phallus does not apparently function as a sexual device but an ashtray (or some confusing combination of the two).  Rachel recently gave a tour of her studio to Tate Magazine, which published the picture above.  If you'd like to read more from the interview click HERE.  Below are two pics from her series of concrete sculptures of the negative space left by books on a shelf.  Watch Colby's heart flutter in anticipation. . . Should I expect a delivery van soon!?  Where did the books go?

BOYS WITH BEARDS: TONY WARD

At 47, Tony Ward is one HOT daddy.  Believe it or not he's worked as a fashion model for almost 30 years.  If you'd like to see more of Tony, including close ups of his hairy bush and flaccid fuckstick, check out the latest issue of 10 men (it should be in the men's fashion section at your local magazine rack).  You may also recognize Tony from his starring role in the landmark Bruce LaBruce film "Hustler White".  He also makes an appearance in Madonna's book "SEX".  Tony and Madonna briefly dated in the early 90s.  See the cock that once entered the richest woman in the Realm. 

Tony and Francois Segat "blowing" each other in the latest film by Bruce LaBruce "L.A. Zombie". 
 

Tony Ward, under threat of bodily harm, describing his secret to perpetual youthfulness. . . 

COLBY FOR THE HOLIDAYS

Don't you wish you could share a piece of warm cherry pie with Colby?  How about traditional Curacao goat stew with pumpkin corn fritters, chicken mole on spaghetti squash, shrimp and grits, and homemade dandelion wine?  That's how I spent my Thanksgiving this Thursday.  Every year I get together with my two next door neighbors and any friends and family stuck in Baltimore for the holiday.  My two neighbors recently started dating each other.  They took a vacation together snorkeling on Curacao in October.  Avid foodies each, who both despise traditional holiday fixings, they decided to make a delicious goat stew instead of turkey.  I provided the homemade dandelion wine and a bottle of scotch.  Yummy to my tummy.  Burp.  Happy holidays!

BOYS WITH BEARDS: FELINE GRINDR

Remember boys: Smell good and be clean.  Meow.  

(It helps if you take out the litter box.)

BERKELEY BOYZ

Like every young aspiring liberal I often fantasized about attending UC Berkeley as a wee hippy lad.  The closest I got was the summer pre-college program at CCAC (The California College of Arts and Crafts at the opposite end of College Ave in Oakland).  My dreams of losing my virginity didn't come true that summer (messy painted pants boy where are you!?), but now I can happily announce that my dreams of being on the Berkeley campus have finally been realized.  In plate form.  And I even get to represent the New World!  Back to Europe white man!  I'm keeping your Delft and kicking you out. 

Thanks to the ever brilliant ceramic artist Sean Sprague. 

LAND AHOY!

Forget turkey soup, turkey sandwiches, turkey and biscuits. . . looks like I'll be eating lame duck.  My days as Commissar of the Socialjism Party are numbered.  Capitalist swine of the world rejoice: Colby Keller has decided to join the ownership class!

I am now the proud owner of not one but two individual parcels of land. . . real, bone-fide acreage (well, square footage).

I actually acquired the first property years ago.  Part of the Cabinetlandia estate in New Mexico, the Keller family ranch is part of a project devised by Cabinet Magazine (each of the 6,700 plots of land available to readers are the size of the magazine).  The site is also home to the world renown Cabinetlandia Free Library (second set of pictures down).

I acquired my second property opening a bottle of Laphroaig scotch this Thanksgiving.  I now own a 1 foot by 1 foot holding on the Scottish isle of Islay!  Anyone care to buy Colby a sheep?

I SEE PENIS: PORK THE TORKEY

Post T-Day cocky young turks . . .

BOYS OF BUTT: MEIR

"Friend of Colby" Bobby paints a new boy from the Butt Magazine Calendar every week.  This week's treat: armpits! 

THANKSGIVING LEFTOVERS WITH ARTY PORNSTARS: Fleshbot puts me on the list!

HAPPY BLACK FRIDAY EVERYONE!  Hopefully everyone's out enjoying a fun shopping day with Kirstie Alley at Pier 1 Imports.  At least, that's where I'd be if I weren't blogging. ;)  I'm thankful for my friend James, who pointed me to a funny Thanskgiving post that included a link to the Big Shoe Diaries.  Apparently, the folks at Fleshbot included me in a list of top 10 things they were thankful for this year.  Number One this year on their list are "Arty Porn Stars," including references to my Penis Origami project and the film work of Francois Sagat. 

While I appreciate the honor, I admit that I'm glad my next several videos coming out will feature me in top roles.  According to Fleshbot, I'm known for being a "rapacious bottom" (which I'm proud of), but it's time to remind all my more bottom-and-versatile-inclined fans that I can be an equally demanding top in bed, really anything the situation requires.

It sucks that there aren't any good adjectives to proceed versatile that describe someone's ample skills in that realm.  Seriously, I can't think of any...rapacious bottoms, pig tops, hungry bottoms, nasty tops, power bottoms, mean tops...but nothing sounds as convincing with versatile...anybody have any suggestions?  Vitruvian Versatile?  Ugh, back to me being a "pretentious hipster."  Right, Fleshbot? ;)

I SEE ANUS: LE MIRACLE DES FLEURS

Artist Jean-Luc VERNS, 2003.  This is what happens the day after Thanksgiving.  Flowers.